It might sound like something your crazy uncle would do to keep british sovereign gold coin beneath his mattress, but let’s be honest: gold is still valuable in the world of finance. Aside from the bad puns, gold has been around since the beginning of civilization. It’s still in the news.

Why does gold stay in style and never go out of style? Some people think it’s the safety net that investors need when things become tough. Markets crash, currencies fluctuate, but gold? It’s the mule that won’t budge. Have you ever witnessed the price of gold drop for a long time? No, I haven’t either. It hits a bump now and then, but it doesn’t remain down.

If you image Scrooge McDuck swimming amid mounds of coins, think again. These days, owning gold isn’t simply about having flashy things you keep. There are bars, coins, ETFs, mining stocks, and even those weird digital tokens that are linked to real bullion. Have you ever wondered if real gold is better than paper gold? Come on in.

Here’s a secret: gold in its natural state can absorb shocks, but it’s heavy. Have you ever tried to sneak a kilogram of gold across borders? Good luck. Storage and insurance also cut into revenues. ETFs make your desk cleaner and your nights less stressful. When you buy shares in a gold mine, you’re investing in the business of gold, not the commodity itself. That implies profits, dangers, and sometimes the drama of wildcat strikes or unexpected finds.

Don’t let FOMO get to you. Gold shouldn’t crash into your portfolio like a bull in a china shop. Instead, let it mix with other things. The amount will depend on how jumpy you are when things go wrong. Are you following trends? Gold might make you feel good with flashy promises, but waiting is what pays. Don’t bet the farm and go slowly.

Inflation is a terrible beast right now. It eats away at your money like rust on an old truck. Gold is like a weathered sheriff: it’s the best choice since it stays strong while money turns to confetti. People who lived through rampant inflation in the 1980s will tell you how good it felt to hold on to something real.

Is timing the most important thing? Yes, in theory. But timing gold is like trying to catch a pig that has been greased. You only have to grip the tail and hang on tight. Instead, try to average out your costs. Put money in little by little, like adding water to your whiskey. Makes the heat easier to handle.

One thing to keep in mind is that gold doesn’t pay dividends. It doesn’t mail you Wild Card or pay your expenses. You can only hope that it gets more expensive. It’s not a cash machine; it’s a hedge. If you want money to come in, add dividend stocks to your portfolio along with gold.

Taxes—the enjoyable part. They are very different. In some places, gains are taxed like regular income, whereas in others, they are taxed like collectibles. Before you celebrate your big win, check.

One last piece of advice? Don’t do what everyone else is doing. Gold is a long-distance race, not a short one. Trust your gut. Ask questions. Only buy something you know how to use. And always remember to keep shiny objects safe and gleaming.